Just some random things..

I can't sleep, so I thought I'd update this blog.

*I'm really noticing the neorological symptoms of Lyme. For instance, earlier this evening I couldn't think of the phrase 'chill out'. I was going through all of these other words: chill up, chill over, chill down... Then finally the word came to me. Weird!

*I feel a little down tonight. I can't sleep because of my heart. It's doing all kinds of scary things. My chest feels heavy, I'm experiencing a dull pain in my chest, and my heart keeps fluttering. Oh and my arms and legs are going numb. I just never know how much I can take.. On days like this, I'm always comtiplating going to the ER. I'm just scared I'm going to push it too much.... like my heart is going to give out. That is scary.

*It's not normal to have these thoughts during the day. When it's just me and Holden, I worry what will happen if I do lose consciousness.

*At the store this evening my fatigue was horrendous. I was having to fight to keep my eyes open. I've been experiencing fatigue like that a lot.. usually only when I'm out of the house. I guess because I'm walking around? I just feel like I'm going to fall asleep any minute.


I'm tired!!!!!! I wish I could know what to do. Sometimes I feel so lost.. like I don't know who to trust. I don't know what path to take. What if the meds I'm taking aren't the right ones? What if I am getting worse? Ughhh.. I feel so sick of ALL OF THIS!

I just yearn feel 100% better again. I want that SO BAD.