Had an appointment last week.

It took awhile for me to get on here and talk about it. Just been busy and tired, mostly tired. Well the appointment was somewhat of a disappointment. First of all I get to Louisiana and find out that my doctor is not there. This was my nightmare come true. I had thought a time or two before that it sure would suck if I went all that way and my doctor wasn't there.

I had the choice of seeing his assitance or rescheduling. Since we didn't have much time to burn and the receptionist wasn't even sure if he'd be there the next day, I reluctantly agreed to see the assistant.

Now if that wasn't bad enough we waited and waited and waited some more. Seriously we spent well over 3 hours waiting. The assistant was nice enough and seemeed to know a lot about Lyme Disease, but still it wasn't the same as seeing the doctor. Plus he only talked to me for about, umm, 15 minutes or so. That's a heck of a way to come, not to mention the waiting time, for 15 measley minutes. So I was a little peeved, to say the least.

The assistant switched me back to what I was on before... the combo my doctor here where I live had put me on. I'm happy about that but a little irritated at the same time. So basically I might of let 2 months of treatment go down the drain. I was feeling great on the doxycycline before, but when I went to the Lousiana doctor I was switched to some different meds to target Babesia. (Which I'm not even sure I have.) So for all I know I just have Lyme Disease and let 2 months go by, since we were focusing on Babesia. Ughhhh! That's is complicated to explain so sorry if it doesn't make sense.

This weekend I thought a lot about if I wanted to go back to this doctor. I decided to give him another chance. I feel if I just saw the dr. where I live I would have to be my own doctor. The doctor here knows some about Lyme Disease (which is more than I can say about most doctors), but he's not that experienced. I have more confidence in the LA doctor. This experience last time was TOTALLY different from my first appointment in LA.

Last time:
My doctor was here
He made me feel hopeful
seemed very condident that I would be completely normal again
he even talked about me having more kids (if I wanted) in the near future
plus he has/had lyme disease so he can relate

So I think I will stick with him, for now.


So it's been about a week on Doxycycline and Flagyl combo. I feel very sore which is a good sign. It means that the bacteria is being killed off and toxins are being released, thus I'm feeling sore, more tired, ect. It's kind of like when you're pregnant and the nauseous feeling is somewhat reassuring because it means the baby is thriving. So it's not a lot of fun, but it is a good thing.

slacking BIG time

I can't believe I failed to mention Holden's test results came back!!!! I'm sure you can guess by my exclamation marks that it was NEGATIVE!!! Yay.. I'm BEYOND relieved.

Quick Update

I'm doing okay. I'm taking my antibiotics and tolerating them pretty well! I've noticed my achiness getting a little more painful. First thing in the morning it's the worst. I have b-12 injections that are supposed to make that better, but I'm such a chicken about doing that! I need to get Matt to give me an injection today. Last time he did it (which was over a month ago) it hurt soooooooo bad. I don't know if he hit a muscle or what, but it was painful. Prior to that it had never hurt, so that kind of freaked me out. We still haven't gotten Holden's test result. I'm hoping we'll know by early next week. I'm so anxious about that, but I try not to think about it. My birthday is Wednesday, so I'm hoping I know before then.... and hoping that it comes out NEGATIVE. That would make my day, week, year!!!

Down in the Dumps

I feel very depressed today. I started back up on my antibiotics today and I feel horrible. I guess that is a good thing, but right now I feel sad. I have no energy and I feel terribly nauseous. I'm so sick of feeling wiped out. I just want to feel normal. I feel soooooooo bad for Holden. I can't even hardly play with him. I am just so tired. I've been sleeping in so late in the morning. This morning I didn't get up until 10:30!! Yikes.

I'm sure this depression will pass soon. I just felt like writing about it because it seems to help when I put my feelings into words. I know things could be worse and that thought really keeps my head up. I read about a boy named Dustin who had lyme disease. It was so debilitating (sp?) that he had to stop going to school and be home schooled. He was 8 when that happened and he is now 11. I can't imagine how hard that would be. I try to think about him when I'm feeling down. His Mom posted on a message board I go to. She said that he never feels sorry for himself and that he doesn't get discouraged. He just keeps on going, keeping his head up. I admire that and strive to be more like him. Here is Dustin's website http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dustineckert.

Back at Square One...

That's kind of how I feel. Since Friday I've been having unsettling, scary symptoms with my heart. Sunday and Monday night it was so bad I only got about 4 hours of sleep.

So I called my doctor yesterday and he said stop the antibiotics for a few days. I hate doing that, but I guess I have to. I've been off of them for about a day and can already notice a difference. I feel very lightheaded and am having some serious vertigo.

I had an appointment with my local doctor today. It went well. I told him what was going on with my other doctor and thankfully he agreed with pretty much everything he is doing. I'm glad to have them on the same page.

I'm going to start back up on the antibiotics on Friday. Plus I'm going to buy some natural herbs called Samento and Cumanda. They are supposed to be "natural antibiotics". Can't hurt, right?

My dr. told me to take benadryl and large doses of vitamin C and it should help make me feel better. It definitely has helped with the sleeping department. Last night I fell asleep quickly and slept all through the night!! It was nice.

Just some random things..

I can't sleep, so I thought I'd update this blog.

*I'm really noticing the neorological symptoms of Lyme. For instance, earlier this evening I couldn't think of the phrase 'chill out'. I was going through all of these other words: chill up, chill over, chill down... Then finally the word came to me. Weird!

*I feel a little down tonight. I can't sleep because of my heart. It's doing all kinds of scary things. My chest feels heavy, I'm experiencing a dull pain in my chest, and my heart keeps fluttering. Oh and my arms and legs are going numb. I just never know how much I can take.. On days like this, I'm always comtiplating going to the ER. I'm just scared I'm going to push it too much.... like my heart is going to give out. That is scary.

*It's not normal to have these thoughts during the day. When it's just me and Holden, I worry what will happen if I do lose consciousness.

*At the store this evening my fatigue was horrendous. I was having to fight to keep my eyes open. I've been experiencing fatigue like that a lot.. usually only when I'm out of the house. I guess because I'm walking around? I just feel like I'm going to fall asleep any minute.


I'm tired!!!!!! I wish I could know what to do. Sometimes I feel so lost.. like I don't know who to trust. I don't know what path to take. What if the meds I'm taking aren't the right ones? What if I am getting worse? Ughhh.. I feel so sick of ALL OF THIS!

I just yearn feel 100% better again. I want that SO BAD.

Paranoia

My biggest fear is that Matt and Holden have Lyme Disease. I think that is my worst nightmare.

I'm getting Holden tested next week- 6 days and counting!! Matt has been causing me to worry. He has been complaining about his leg hurting. Sometimes he can barely walk on it- he limps around. I know it could be ANYTHING. He's even researched it and thinks it's sciatica. He's also been really tired lately. He takes naps often. *Sigh* I just worry TOO MUCH.

I know it's a bit riduculous to suspect Lyme Disease for every little symptom. (hence the name of the post) I guess when you go through something like this, it really opens your eyes. You aren't invincible. Something as little as a tick can cause A LOT of suffering.